Picture this December '13

I have a few books on my desk this month.

I've already read The Black Book, but there are a few chapters in this book that were a bit of a blur for me.  I had a cold when I was reading it and was much to drowsy (probably the cold medicine's doing) to read but did it anyway. 

I love Vikram Seth, haven't finished Two Lives yet, but so far it isn't as good as A Suitable Boy or An Equal Music. Women In Love... I can't help but laugh to myself when I'm reading this. Half way through it and so far so good. 

Everything Poe writes is pretty dark and really quite scary, but this little book, The Black Cat and other stories really is something.  More on this later. The other three I haven't read yet, but soon! 

The suicide project

I don't recall how I came across this website:

http://suicideproject.org/ 

But I'm glad I found it. Though it's deeply saddening to see the multitudes of people out there who wish to harm themselves or end their lives, I'm glad that there is platform for them to display their thoughts and express their emotions. At times I have tried to write back to some messages, hoping in someway that my words will reach them and give them some hope and prevent them from committing the act that will end their life. It's almost strange to think that as I write this, somewhere out there or even here in the building that I live in for that matter, there is someone who desperately wishes that they were dead or never existed. It so painful just thinking about it and what's almost worse is knowing that they're there and not being able t anything about it. Sometimes, like today for instance, I feel so down and sorry for myself, but when I see this site I realise that my feelings and my unhappiness is not the same as those individuals who can't stand life any longer.

I wish I could do more to help such individuals. I really don't think I want to do Psychiatry, but I wish I had a desire to. I feel like I might be able to help such individuals, Lord knows I would out in the effort and energy to see them to talk to them in depth to try and understand them and their problems. I know depression isn't that simple and neither is wanting to end your life. But I wish I had the capability to help people overcome such feelings. I've just spent ages reading through some of the posts and I feel so sad :(

One piece hiatus....back on Naruto!

A lot of the time I really don't like being up to date with my shows. Reason being: I don't like waiting for one episode every week... it's painful! For some shows, like Pretty Little Liars, I can handle it. But for shows like One Piece I really cannot tolerate waiting seven whole days for about 20 minutes of viewing time. It's killing me, it really is. I loved it when I had over 100 episodes stretching ahead of me. I hungrily watched episode after episode late into the night.The great thing about being able to do that was the fact that I could actually really get into to it, really let the intensity build up and really grasp the story line, the feelings and essence of the show. But when I'm waiting, like I am now, it really takes it out of me. It's like the episode is just getting good and the excitement is growing and then................. Yes, wait seven day until you can really enjoy it. At the moment this whole Trafalgar law thing has been getting to me. A) because I really want to know what he's up to! How the heck is he going to destroy the new world? And what's in that darn room? B) I really really hope he and Luffy stay on the same side (generally speaking) c) Luffy just doesn't seem as strong as he should be! They really need to make him go nuts! :D Well, the fillers kill me and I'm just mad because I can't get the show to go at the pace I want. So here's my plan (we'll have to see if it works!): take a break from OP and get back to watching Naruto. The same kind of thing occurred with Naruto. I got a bit annoyed with the fillers, didn't like being up to date and also had exams at the time (this is like a year ago!)...So I tried to hold back from watching it, just so that the episodes build up. Initially it didn't work and like a coke fiend, I just went back for more, even though the hit I was getting just wasn't enough. But eventually I managed to sort of build a barrier between me n Naruto...It worked. I abstained for over a year! I know, it's quite unbelievable really, I actually love Naruto probably as much as OP. But in all honesty nowadays a year for me...it passes by like a few months. So It feels as if it hasn't been all that long really. I just watched a few episodes and I can't actually believe I went on for so long without. I love Naruto and am almost ashamed of myself for having managed to keep away so long, but at the same time I have gained a little respect for myself too...I was finally able to resist, I have some will power after all. Now, I have a particular attachment to OP and I have tried on several occasions to do the same thing, but shamelessly broke the covenant with myself.... But this time I'm actually determined! I have Naruto to fill that hole that OP will leave...It's only a few months but I know it's going to be tough!     

Picture this: 15 August 2013

This week in books

It just had to be done! I really needed to revisit this old classic. Who doesn't like a good adventure? An immaculately written story about a much sought after map that details the location of a notoriously cunning pirate's treasure. The real adventure begins when the map falls into the hands of our young protagonist Jim Hawkins. He finds himself on a ship with an interesting number of characters. And it soon becomes apparent that Jim and his close friends are not the only ones after the treasure.  I couldn't stop reading and finished it in no time, though I did have to put up with feeling sleep deprived for the better part of this week... 

This one right here, The Masnavi by Rumi, is a masterpiece! As the blurb reads: "Rumi's Masnavi is widely recognised as the greatest Sufi poem ever written.." and what a poem it is! This is Rumi's method of portraying his love for God. It is a poem but explores various tales and Islamic teachings and Muslim history.  As the blurb says, this book is 'spiritually profound'. It's the background reading of the week. What does that mean? By no means does it mean that this book is boring and is therefore in the background. No siree! This is an intellectually and spiritually stimulating piece of work, thus it can't be read like any old novel in a single sitting.  It must be read, digested, pondered upon and then understood. 

This book I have just picked up from a friends shelf today. I was reeled in by the fact that it was written by Elif Shafak (I really enjoyed his book, The bastard of Istanbul). Then the blurb really had me. It's about an obese woman and her dwarf lover. They are sick of being stared at and decide they will switch roles. So the woman paints on a mustache and the dwarf puts on makeup (tell me that doesn't pull you in). The man embraces the world as it gazes at him, whilst the woman doesn't. He then compiles a 'Dictionary of Gazes' where he records the looks of the passers-by, in order to explore the boundaries between appearances and reality. I'm looking forward to this, the first few pages are so far so good.  

The Scrapped Princess!

I just finished watching this anime, and damn am I sad that it's over. What a great three days of action, fantasy, drama and romance! It had everything I love in an anime! Great characters, an excellent storyline and some magic!

The Crew!
Watch the show here...where I got his pic from :)

The story centres around Pacifica Cassul (the scrapped princess) and her older brother and sister, Shannon and Raquel Cassul. At the time of Pacifica's birth, a divine prophecy predicts that she is destined to destroy the world on her 16th birthday, as a result an order is issued by the ruling Church (the Church of Mauser) and the King himself to kill the child. The plot thickens when we learn that Pacifica is in-fact Shannon and Raquels adopted sister and in reality she is the biological daughter of the King. Her mother, the Queen, arranged for her to be saved from death and given into the care of the Cassuls.

We join our protagonists, at a point in time, when they are on the run. People, including the imperial assassins are on the hunt to kill the princess in a bid to rid the world of it's 'poison'! However, Raquel's magic and Shannon's swordsmanship mean the trio are no easy prey. The two older siblings are fiercely protective of their younger sister and are prepared to go against anything, even providence, in order to protect her!

The three siblings!

Get this wall paper here

The sci-fi elements are introduced subtly, as initially it seems the world we are observing is a medieval one. One full of knights, princesses, and dragons. However, things get more complicated. There are 'divine' beings, emissaries of the 'God' who 'protect' and 'oversee' the world. The plot thickens when it comes to light that it is these beings, known as the 'peacemakers', who under the orders of Mauser, want the scrapped princess dead. Strange right? Why would an omnipotent being (if that's the right word) want a potentially dangerous girl dead? Why not kill her yourself? or cease her existence..? Well it get's more complicated. It turns out that the scrapped princess is in fact the only human on earth that can go against the peacemakers and essentially neutralize or rather dissipate their hold on humanity and it is because of this, her potential to cause humanity to go against the peace makers and take control of their own destiny, that the peacemakers want her dead. Sounds like modern day democracy! What's more is that the world was once very advanced even more so than it is now in life (like way in the future). However, and I'll be honest here...I didn't quite follow the entire storyline, sometimes it went on a bit and just seemed to try a little hard...it was awkward and even cringe-worthy, so I kind of just listened to the bits I wanted to ... Anyway as I was saying humanity were very advanced but their 'stupidity' led them to constantly war among themselves. And so they created these crazy mad fantastical weapons with human-like personalities. Somewhere along the line these 'weapons' with personalities of their own decided that in order to preserve humanity and to prevent it from destroying itself, it would revert humanity back to the middle ages and essentially allow it to live under tightly controlled conditions.......Yeah as if that was going to work.

Eh? My cooking sucks? 

Truth be told,  this amine has a few minor drawbacks for me. The story line was somewhat strained and trying too hard to be complicated (or am I just thick?)... The whole peacemaker thing sounded a bit...hmm for want of a more choice word, cheesy. Like 'we are protectors of man, but we must cull him and eliminate his free will for his own good' and then there's the big question that hovers throughout... is a utilitarian approach to living the right one for man? Can we really say that we are living if our free will is curbed?  Is mankind the source of his own destruction? What of religion? The church? And the monarchy/ government? Are these all channels of evil that seek to herd mankind as a means to their own end? These questions were a bit beyond the scope of the anime, I felt. I know they're beyond me too, but really they were too big for this particular anime. But with that said, they did try. However, I do like stories that attempt to create/ explore moral questions that give their audiences something to think about. Not that I even dwelt on any such question while watching the show though. But mind thoughts did flit through my mind here and there,,, good effort nonetheless.
Another drawback was the actual drawings. I like the drawing style but I personally didn't like the forms of the peacemakers in battle mode...they looked like overgrown bugs or random shapes...whatever they were they just didn't look graceful or fluid in battle and made the battles a little less interesting to watch. I liked the dragon though...more fluid and with greater motion in battle. I'm no manga or anime expert but I'm saying these things just in terms of my own personal taste.

Another great wall paper, from the same link

What did I love? Mainly the characters and the relationship between the three siblings, The bratty, spoilt but sweet and playful character of Pacifica drew me to her instantly. I liked that she didn't' seem to give a shit about being of royal descent or that her real parents were alive somewhere. I liked it. It highlighted the importance of the people who raised her and the good life they gave her. Also I love her relationship with Raquel and Shannon. Her respect, admiration and love for Raquel is evident but her greatest love is obviously her brother Shannon (is it just me or does he have a girl's name?). The way the two dote on one another and the intensity of the love between them almost verges on going beyond that of a brother and sister (that's the Japanese for you...any opportunity to through in a bit of incest!). Still I loved it. It was sincere and beautiful. Shannon's dedication to his sister, his innate need to protect her and in the process make the world his enemy is probably my favourite aspect of this anime. I won't lie, I have a crush on him, just like Zeferis does (of course she does). He's the embodiment (I know not the appropriate word), of manliness and beauty. But his relationship with Cin bugged me...actually it really pissed me off. I won't go off on one here..but I could. What spoiled it for me was finding out that Shannon had the 'guardian gene'....it put the relationships of the three siblings in a new light. Personally I didn't like it. I like to think what they had was really 'real' something that developed naturally.
Also, I felt bad for Raquel's character, she had the potential to be lot cooler and a lot more powerful than she was.  A lot of the time, her character had to take a back seat to Pasifica and Shannon's. I mean even in the damn end, she's the one who's bawling all over Pacifca and clutching at her..but it's Shannon who 'brings her back'.  It's probably the fact that her magic waxes and wanes throughout the story that really stunts her development. If she just kept developing she could have been so much more!

                                                         Shannon Cassul.... Dreamy...

Also I would have liked to have seen a bit more character development for Chris, Winia, Leo and some others. On that note,  what the heck was up with throwing Furet in there for a couple of episodes? Why build him up just to break him down? How can they do us like that?
(Rest assured, I was secretly rooting for Leo)

If I were to compare it to other anime, I'd say it reminds me of shows like Cowboy Bepop, Farytail and Spice and Wolf. Obvious comparisons, because of the elements of fantasy and Sci-Fi.

Despite the drawbacks, I really loved this show overall. It was adventurous, entertaining, funny and even quite sad at some points. Usually the duration of time I take to watch a show is inversely proportional the the degree I love it, I watched this in three days,,,. Enough said!          


*Disclaimer: None of the pictures above are mine, the links that indicate their origin are located below the pics. Thanks.

Gabriela, Clove and Cinnamon.

I was looking for something similar to Marquez’s works when I came across Jorge Amado’s ‘Gabriela, Clove and Cinnamon.’

The story is set in 1920’s Iléheus, a town on the coast of Brazil, in a region know as Bahia (how sensual is that name?).   

It explores a time, when Bahia is undergoing much change. Among others, there is political, commercial and social change.  The cacao trade is gaining momentum and some members of the town hope it will be host to the many trading ships that will be involved in the growing industry. The port is yet to be built and a great debate about whether or not it should be, forms the backdrop  of the focal story line, separating those inhabitants that favour the ways of old from those hoping for change.    

The main focus is on the owner of a popular bar, a Syrian man known as Nacib, who suddenly finds himself without a cook just before a very important dinner party.  In desperation, he searches the slave market in hopes of finding someone to prepare the important feast. He finds more than he'd hoped for, he finds Gabriela,  a curious but seriously alluring mulatto woman, whose characteristic strange and free-spirited behaviour confuses poor old Nacib. Amidst the scents of Bahian cuisine and political and social activities, the two fall in love, and in an attempt to possess and tame her, Nacib marries Gabriela. But the marriage is like a cage to the free spirited bird and as you might  imagine the beautiful and sweet love soon turns sour. Does Nacib lose Gabriela forever or does she learn to tame the somewhat wild and unruly character? Read and find out.

There is so much to write about this story and I don’t want to go on and on as I easily could. The seemingly endless array of characters, the bitter stories of adultery and murder, the numerous colonels, the political and social clashes make this an exotic, exhilarating and sensual read. 

Amado’s writing, which is at once both comic and pragmatic, transported me straight to Bahia. I could smell the sweet and exotic fragrances of the beautiful town which seems to be filled with the aromas of Gabriella's cooking and the heady scent of cacao. And just like the description of the small town in Tieta (Agreste), Iléheus is made so vivid and so real with all it's characters giving the town life, I can just imagine living there amidst vibrant colours and even more vibrant characters. I now love Amado nearly as much as I love Marquez.  What an incredible and majestic writer! It's as if his novels aren't fiction at all, but more like flowery and descriptive observations of an anthropologist with a penchant for descriptions, color and humor.    

The feeling of dread

I finished my finals over two weeks ago now. I've really appreciated the time I've had to do whatever I want over the past few weeks. I've had countless long-sleeps and long lie-ins (I'm no stranger to a 12 hour + sleep!). I've been abroad for a few days (Switzerland), I've spent many hours drawing and painting. I've been reading (Amado and Bernieres) and have spent a lot of time hanging out with the fam. However I haven't yet sat down to write, though I've been itching to. Mainly because I haven't really had any solitude and when I do (Often I find that I am the only one awake in the dead of night), I'm so sleepy and tired I stay awake (without reason) forcing myself to watch a movie or a few episodes of an anime or drama.

Anyways, I'm actually just writing because I needed to vent a little. I'm not angry though. I'm scared and i'm anxious. There's a tightness in my chest and a funny hollow feeling in my stomach. Sometimes I think and I think and I need to catch my breath... Sometimes the feeling of dread is so great that I can't breathe. Mostly I've been ok, thank God. Most of the time I feel like whatever happens will happen and fate will take me where it will. Whatever God has willed is what is meant to be and in some form or shape it will be for my good. But I don't feel like it's enough to think like that. I hope and pray things turn out ok. I've prayed that things turn out well. My results are out tomorrow morning. My life might change tomorrow. I'm not being dramatic. It actually could. Please Lord let it be good news for me!