The feeling of dread

I finished my finals over two weeks ago now. I've really appreciated the time I've had to do whatever I want over the past few weeks. I've had countless long-sleeps and long lie-ins (I'm no stranger to a 12 hour + sleep!). I've been abroad for a few days (Switzerland), I've spent many hours drawing and painting. I've been reading (Amado and Bernieres) and have spent a lot of time hanging out with the fam. However I haven't yet sat down to write, though I've been itching to. Mainly because I haven't really had any solitude and when I do (Often I find that I am the only one awake in the dead of night), I'm so sleepy and tired I stay awake (without reason) forcing myself to watch a movie or a few episodes of an anime or drama.

Anyways, I'm actually just writing because I needed to vent a little. I'm not angry though. I'm scared and i'm anxious. There's a tightness in my chest and a funny hollow feeling in my stomach. Sometimes I think and I think and I need to catch my breath... Sometimes the feeling of dread is so great that I can't breathe. Mostly I've been ok, thank God. Most of the time I feel like whatever happens will happen and fate will take me where it will. Whatever God has willed is what is meant to be and in some form or shape it will be for my good. But I don't feel like it's enough to think like that. I hope and pray things turn out ok. I've prayed that things turn out well. My results are out tomorrow morning. My life might change tomorrow. I'm not being dramatic. It actually could. Please Lord let it be good news for me!