Remembering

The soft sounds of falling blossoms
The twinkle of a stream as it runs by
The chirping of birds dancing together
The smell of spring and the feel of summer
Stormy hot nights with dark clouds and thunder
The sticky sweet smell of ripe mangoes
The buzzing of crickets on a summers night
The swaying of muslin and silk curtains
The distance buzzing of an old plane
Bright blue skies filled with odd shaped clouds
The notes of a beloved piano heard form a distance
The crackling muffled songs from an old record player
The scent of love, the scent of you as we grow old together.

A simple understanding

Sometimes you meet a person and you feel a deep yet unreal connection with them. It's absurd because you've barely learnt their name and yet somehow you both have an instant understanding and old familiarity. They speak to you in an almost intimate tone and you do the same to them. You can tell what they're like when they're angry and you know they'd tolerate your bad habits.You can picture lazy wet Sunday afternoons spent indoors with them. The childish fights over whose turn it was to make the next cup of tea. You know how exhilarating it would be to travel across the world with them, laughing together and whispering secrets no one else would understand. The picture isn't clouded by lust. , though there might be nothing better than the thought of learning to be intimate with them. There is a celestial depth to the feeling an other worldly quality. When had you met before? Did you know each other in a different time and place? It is unfair to meet such a person and yet be unable to possess them as you feel you should. Isn't it fate that has brought the two of you together?

The Leopard

My own photograph 

The Leopard by Giuseppe Tomasi di Lampedusa is a novel set in Sicily between 1860 and 1910 which centres around Don Fabrizio, the Prince of Salina. Don Fabrizio aka The Leopard in all his glory is the epitome of the magnificent old aristocracy that is faced with being relegated to the annals of Italian history as Italy attempts to unite and waves of change wash across the Kingdom.

If Don Fabrizio is the personification of the soul of the old aristocracy and Sicily then his nephew Tancredi is that of the new. An astute  and ambitious young man with an appetite for success and power, he is swept up in the activities of the revolutionaries and passionately leads in the fight to join Sicily to the rest of Italy. His charm, wit and audacious sense of humour give him a special place in Don Fabrizio’s heart. Indeed it seems The Prince loves Tancredi more than those he brought into the world with his own seed, perhaps because, unlike his own more timid and almost senseless son, Tancredi like his uncle is a natural born leader blessed with masculine beauty and virility. His fondness for Tancredi leads him to overlook the fact that he breaks Don Fabrizio’s daughters heart and indeed Don Fabrizio supports Tancredi’s pursuit of the hypnotizing beauty, Angelica, daughter of a peasant mother and nouveau rich father. Should the Prince have been reincarnated a generation later, he would have been Tancredi. Despite Tancredi’s support of the political advance in Italy, he is still in tune with his uncle’s world and respects the customs of the aristocracy. He understands the two opposing worlds and though he respects the old he understand that change is inevitable. One of the most famous lines from this epic is one of Tancredi’s:

"If we want things to stay as they are, everything must change"

As Don Fabrizio watches the world he knows begin to erode away and essentially the beginnings of the dissolution of his magnanimous family, he muses on his life and traditions and essence of the aristocracy. There is something powerfully attractive about this large and powerful man. He is insatiable in his desires yet aloof in his love.  He neglects the physical needs of his neurotic wife and becomes unreasonably irate with her nervous disposition, yet he gives no love to his mistresses either. His love for his children, like that for his wife, is aloof.   From time to time he is overcome by a powerful melancholy and his thoughts drift towards mortality and death.  There is something incredibly human about this character; I could feel his emotion and presence through the text. His heritage and title seem to weigh him down and he is aware of this and of the fact that his people ‘the nobility’ are set in their ways and tied to the past by their heritage. His observations extend to the way the peasants interact with him and how with the changes around them their attitude and interaction with the nobility also alters.

We watch as the war and political unrest seem to happen somewhere in the distance and soon reaches the doors of our Prince’s household. The changes shake the fine fibres that hold the family and its traditions together.  There are also significant observations of how the political changes will affect the poorer Sicilian’s, the financial implications of war and political change and of course religion features strongly.

Towards the end we find the Prince old and bed ridden, reminiscing his life and ready to embrace death. Much has changed in the Kingdom of Italy and yet something remain the same. This is reflected in the Prince’s family also. His daughter, Concetta, who was once in Love with Tancredi still upholds the traditions of her father, yet over time she has revisited poignant moments in her life and looks at them in a more objective manner, realising how she herself lost the opportunity to love. I realised towards the end  that Concetta is much like her father. She has a depth of feeling that is not plain for all to see. There is a stubbornness and nobleness in her character, much like Don Fabrizio’s.

The descriptions of Sicily bring the place to life and I truly felt I’d been transported and stood as a silent observer to the Princes life.

What’s more intriguing is the writers life. The work, posthumously published, is supposedly a reflection of aspects of the authors life, he himself being of aristocratic descent and the character of Don Fabrizio being based on his great great grandfather. Was this a just an observation or was there a subjective element to it? For instance was the regret and sorrow with which The Prince recalls the glory of his people actually a reflections of Lampedusa’s regret for the loss of times gone by?

The Leopard is one of the finest works of literature I have ever read. This Italian masterpiece completely seduced me. If a book could become a man, then this is the man for me. Powerful, regal and infinitely beautiful. The beautiful prose was like music to my ears and art to my eyes. There is something immortal about this tale and The Prince. As a good friend of mine once said ‘My god! Il Gattopardo, The Leopard: it's carved into my head, a masterpiece of World literature, since it depicts the eternal clash between old and new, conservation and progress.’  

This epic was translated to screen in 1963 and apparently was a beautiful translation of the novel. I am yet to see it but the trailer looks incredible! Here is a famous scene from the film: I don't understand a word of it but it looks beautiful indeed. 

The Twelve Kingdoms (Junni Kokuki)

The opening theme for this Anime alone, is enough to make the viewer fall in love. It's called, Juuni Genmu Kyoku. The sound of ancient Japan that evokes images of mountains dotted with beautiful Sakura trees and a graceful yet fierce samurai performing an elegant Wushu-like dance.... Ah what a sight that would be.

The plot 

This is an anime adapted from a series of Japanese novels written by Fuyumi Ono. 

Our protagonist, Youko Nakajima is a timid goody two-shoes who has spent all her life being the 'good girl'. Class president, honours student, filial daughter- you name it she does it. It's instantly apparent that she's a pushover and seriously lacking in confidence. However there is something of a mystery to her. She has striking red hair (unusual for Japanese ethnic origin) and she has the same recurring dream that has an other worldly quality to it.

Youko Nakajima 
Pic source: http://myanimelist.net/character/1542/Nakajima_Youko

One day as Youko sits in class, out of the blue an ethereal looking gentleman appears, promising to serve her and take her back to her Kingdom. He's a supernatural creature known as a Kirin and goes by the name Keiki. His arrival precedes a series of events that lead to Youko (and incidentally two of her class mates) being catapulted to the Twelve Kingdoms a land full of mythical creatures, ancient traditions, imperial politics and a rich history. Youko learns that she is the empress of one of the Kingdoms  and we watch as she is faced with trials and tribulations that the ancient Kingdom throws at her, transforming the timid school girl into a powerful and wise empress. Along the way numerous interesting characters are introduced, including the fascinating King of En: Shoryu and his Kirin Enki and we learn of their stories too. We also see that with change in their social statuses and acquisition of power, the friendship of the three Japanese school mates is really tested. 

Youko, Shoryu and Enki 
Pic source:  http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/the-twelve-kingdoms/images/17320165/title/juuni-kokki-photo

This is probably one of the best anime's I've ever watched. I'm a great fan of the fantasy/mythology genres and this totally hit the spot! The ancient Kingdom with qualities/elements of ancient Chinese/Japanese history and imperial politics is absolutely fascinating. I love the fantasy mixed in with the ancient oriental mythology. The story and sub-stories are amazing! They have so much depth and emotion and explore politics, philosophy, war, poverty, knowledge, love (not really romance) and friendship. The animation is superb. So elegant and beautiful, at times having a painting-like quality. The colours are great and I generally love the style that the characters are drawn in. I also found myself sometimes staring at the background or particular scenes just because of the level of detail. This isn't your typical popular anime with the fan service and humour. This is a serious piece of art which feels more like a prolonged fantasy film. 

My favourite aspect has got to be the soundtrack. What beauty! The word 'epic' comes to mind whenever I listen to it. It evokes such great emotions and energy. I honestly feel as if I am in another world, in a different time. I have fallen in love with the 'Erhu' as a result and it's my favourite oriental instrument.

The flute in this piece! Oh my... 

With total of 45 episodes, it is a long, beautiful and meaningful journey. However, the one negative aspect of this anime is that it ends abruptly with some stories being left unfinished. It broke my heart to realise this...   Also at times some characters are not explored in as much detail as I would have liked.

Not one to watch if your looking for something quick that doesn't require too much thought and also just a warning the theme of love is explored but not really in detail and most definitely not the focus.

It's been over a year since I watched it and I think it's about time I revisited it! 

Picture this December '13

I have a few books on my desk this month.

I've already read The Black Book, but there are a few chapters in this book that were a bit of a blur for me.  I had a cold when I was reading it and was much to drowsy (probably the cold medicine's doing) to read but did it anyway. 

I love Vikram Seth, haven't finished Two Lives yet, but so far it isn't as good as A Suitable Boy or An Equal Music. Women In Love... I can't help but laugh to myself when I'm reading this. Half way through it and so far so good. 

Everything Poe writes is pretty dark and really quite scary, but this little book, The Black Cat and other stories really is something.  More on this later. The other three I haven't read yet, but soon! 

The suicide project

I don't recall how I came across this website:

http://suicideproject.org/ 

But I'm glad I found it. Though it's deeply saddening to see the multitudes of people out there who wish to harm themselves or end their lives, I'm glad that there is platform for them to display their thoughts and express their emotions. At times I have tried to write back to some messages, hoping in someway that my words will reach them and give them some hope and prevent them from committing the act that will end their life. It's almost strange to think that as I write this, somewhere out there or even here in the building that I live in for that matter, there is someone who desperately wishes that they were dead or never existed. It so painful just thinking about it and what's almost worse is knowing that they're there and not being able t anything about it. Sometimes, like today for instance, I feel so down and sorry for myself, but when I see this site I realise that my feelings and my unhappiness is not the same as those individuals who can't stand life any longer.

I wish I could do more to help such individuals. I really don't think I want to do Psychiatry, but I wish I had a desire to. I feel like I might be able to help such individuals, Lord knows I would out in the effort and energy to see them to talk to them in depth to try and understand them and their problems. I know depression isn't that simple and neither is wanting to end your life. But I wish I had the capability to help people overcome such feelings. I've just spent ages reading through some of the posts and I feel so sad :(

One piece hiatus....back on Naruto!

A lot of the time I really don't like being up to date with my shows. Reason being: I don't like waiting for one episode every week... it's painful! For some shows, like Pretty Little Liars, I can handle it. But for shows like One Piece I really cannot tolerate waiting seven whole days for about 20 minutes of viewing time. It's killing me, it really is. I loved it when I had over 100 episodes stretching ahead of me. I hungrily watched episode after episode late into the night.The great thing about being able to do that was the fact that I could actually really get into to it, really let the intensity build up and really grasp the story line, the feelings and essence of the show. But when I'm waiting, like I am now, it really takes it out of me. It's like the episode is just getting good and the excitement is growing and then................. Yes, wait seven day until you can really enjoy it. At the moment this whole Trafalgar law thing has been getting to me. A) because I really want to know what he's up to! How the heck is he going to destroy the new world? And what's in that darn room? B) I really really hope he and Luffy stay on the same side (generally speaking) c) Luffy just doesn't seem as strong as he should be! They really need to make him go nuts! :D Well, the fillers kill me and I'm just mad because I can't get the show to go at the pace I want. So here's my plan (we'll have to see if it works!): take a break from OP and get back to watching Naruto. The same kind of thing occurred with Naruto. I got a bit annoyed with the fillers, didn't like being up to date and also had exams at the time (this is like a year ago!)...So I tried to hold back from watching it, just so that the episodes build up. Initially it didn't work and like a coke fiend, I just went back for more, even though the hit I was getting just wasn't enough. But eventually I managed to sort of build a barrier between me n Naruto...It worked. I abstained for over a year! I know, it's quite unbelievable really, I actually love Naruto probably as much as OP. But in all honesty nowadays a year for me...it passes by like a few months. So It feels as if it hasn't been all that long really. I just watched a few episodes and I can't actually believe I went on for so long without. I love Naruto and am almost ashamed of myself for having managed to keep away so long, but at the same time I have gained a little respect for myself too...I was finally able to resist, I have some will power after all. Now, I have a particular attachment to OP and I have tried on several occasions to do the same thing, but shamelessly broke the covenant with myself.... But this time I'm actually determined! I have Naruto to fill that hole that OP will leave...It's only a few months but I know it's going to be tough!